Sunday, December 1, 2013

Funny Christmas Poem: Santas Curmudgeon Version of The Christmas Story

From Denny:  OK, for the naughty folks out there who enjoy some holiday sarcasm comes this silly poem sure to make you grin - or wince.

Just when everyone is tired of making nice to the relatives just read this one aloud to the gathering to cut the grumbling.  Sure to make some folks howl with delight or indignation!  Oh, look, yet another family fight during the holiday season. :)

Santa Jingle Dog Tags

Make some merry this holiday season! Jingle Jingle!

Christmas Story

'Twas the night before Christmas - Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!

I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks, Santa" - what do I hear?
The old lady bitches ‘cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money - The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those a$$holes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes - if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?

And the kids these days - they all are the pits
They want the impossible - Those mean little sh*ts
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls... Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's - No request for them,
They want computers and robots... they think - I'm IBM!

Flying through the air... dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat a$$ and draw unemployment.

There's no Christmas this year - now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season!

Author Unknown - but Submitted by "Bubba"

*** THANKS for visiting and for more fun:

The Funny Side of Christmas - Cheeky Quote Day! 16 Dec 2009

Funny Story: Lovable Inflatable Christmas Louise

Funny Essay on Why Santa Must Really Be A Woman

Santa Jingle Earring Circle Charm

Santa Jingle Earring Circle Charm

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